I apologize for not writing... it is hard really - I am trying to find my way up from being pounded into the ground by this break-up.
I am so angry with myself for trusting him, for believing in him.
When all he is .... is a used car salesman.
He offered lip service all of the time ... told me what I wanted to hear... fudged the truth to sell me a story.
Well... me believing him has ended. I have decided to consider him dead, and am no longer waiting for an explanation.
He had sent a text saying that he did love me .. that this was for me.
Well I appreciate the generosity... ::cough::
I have been slowly but surely picking myself up. I still cry off and on, and I wonder how you stop loving someone. How do you harden your heart and just move on... sign me up for that class.
I have not gone back on HCG as of yet. I am planning on starting it on Sunday. I think the only way to get back on track is to get back on HCG and get some control in my life.
I need the structure of it, I think going back on will also help me to get back on track emotionally. My friend John says I should probably talk to someone. But I really don't want to.
Start back on scheduling my whole day ... and handle this robot style for awhile.
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Robot style isn't such a bad thing as long as at some point you reboot and not just live your life numb. I don't know that it is possible to "harden your heart and move on"...if you figure that out let me know.
ReplyDeleteYay for the hcg restart, tell you what, since you're starting on Sunday I will too. I've been putting it off for too long for stupid reasons and I like the buddy system...sooooo SUNDAY.
Back on track pretty!