Gotta say I am having a pity party and YOU are invited.. So if you don't want to watch me wallow then I suggest you move on to the next blog because I am in full :sorry for myself: mode.
I am really tired of bedrest I am about to go bat shit crazy and it isn't even a funny.
I have two places to hang out the bed or the recliner. Walking between the two is excruciating. Walking to the bathroom is excruciating.
I have had friends who say they will come visit but something always comes up and I am feeling really alone. I am angry ... ANGRY at my ex for being such a selfish jerk. I loved him through all of his inconsistencies and jerk ways... and he couldn't return that... wth??? The fact I am doing this with parental help only is really chapping my ass today.
my day consists of internet ... tv... and sleep... and it is awful. I can't just get in my car and drive somewhere. ... this is a miserable experience.
The fact that the pain NEVER stops is infuriating to me right now. It hurts all of the time. it will go from just being a constant ache to sharp jagged pains that leave me sobbing. Taking a shower is a huge feat because I have to climb over the bathtub to shower . My parents put a shower chair in there but gahhh! so over it allready.
I am a shower everyday person or I feel gross. I have been managing a shower every other day with this. Not to mention that everything in my lower body feels like it has been beaten with a bat.
I am trying to stay positive... maybe use this time to finish the book i am writing - but I am beyond the limits today.
Sorry for venting ... but I don't have ANYONE in my life that is available to me..
I can't believe how alone this feels...
and Don Abbott I hate you! I hate you hate you hate you for being a cowardly lying shit.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Vent away - I will read it and totally sympathize with you. So how much longer before you find out if you will have surgery or not. Oh, and what kind of book are you writing. Hang in there chickadoo. And theres not much else you can do at this point except keeping on hating him - completely understandable. Im hoping when youre well you will start dating again and share all of your great stories so us married folks can live vicariously through you.
ReplyDeletethanks Kathryn,
ReplyDeleteI have been on the verge of tears all day. I am so feeling cut off from humanity. feel so alone , I know i am not but it is easy to feel alone in a crowd of people with the condition i am in.
I won't find out til the 20th when they will schedule my surgery. Which is very frustrating.
I am actually writing a vampire novel . I have been working on it for a year.
i have been told that it is good.. but that will remain to be seen.
Thank you for reading -please know I appreciate you ... more than you know
Hey Sharr,
ReplyDeleteIts been a while since I have checked in on you and look at what you have been up to!
I wish we lived closer, I would come over and cook for you and make you laff... But keep writing your book... posting here and letting us know how you are... vent away... we can take it. And just focus on healing...
Take care there...
Rainey
thanks Rainey :)
ReplyDeletetruly sweet sentiments and I DO appreciate them. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Venting yesterday seemed to help . I don't feel as much on the brink of tears that I was yesterday.
I would prolly feel better if I could kick the EX .. but maybe not.
::giggle::
Thanks for being out there
xoxo
Too bad you couldn't just come stay with me...I'm far from your doctor, but at least we could keep each other company while we were plotting all the ways we could terrorize Abbott...
ReplyDeleteKeep writing your book and know, like the other girls said, we're here for ya honey.
thank you girlie :) that really means alot. I don't know why being injured has brought the whole weepy and hurt side outof me emotionally.
ReplyDeletei can't believe hofocusw lonely this is. it hurts that men don't have staying power. '
::sighs:: oh well...
I think I will take a nap and re-focus... sounds like a plan anyway