Saturday, November 6, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
I hope your Saturday is going well...
Me I am doing ...ok.. Thursday night I didn't sleep at all, my foot hurt, and I was terribly nervous about surgery.The next morning I got up and got ready. Took a shower , washed my hair, had my mom french braid it so that I didn't have hair all over the place during surgery.
Put my clothes and my boot on, and drove to the hospital, well I rode parents drove me. When we got there I was still very nervous and weepy. I have found I don't like a bunch of chatter and joking around when I am this nervous it seems to just add to the pressure of the situation.
I checked in and got my hospital wrist band, and waited to be called back.
Then my nurse Mary (pre op nurse) came and got me, I took my sister back with me (she drove down to be with me during surgery), I think my mom was upset that I wanted my sister there, but my sister totally gets the nervous thing and we are really close. I just needed her calming presence there. So the nurse came and asked me all sorts of questions .. put an ALLERGY wrist band on me, because i have drug allergies. Then I had to do a pee test.. why ? i don't know .. lol but i did . Grateful for the potty break tho- nerves do this to a girl I think. Then I changed into my patient gown and crawled on the gurney. Then she put the iv in. My sister let me squeeze her hand til it almost came off... lol.
My dad got my crutches and stuff so he would remember to take them to the car. He was pretty fascinated with the crutches .. kept making them bigger and smaller and putting them under his arms .. Then my 64 year old father with crutches under his arms picked them up and acted like they were machine guns... Just goes to show you that boys don't ever leave the man. it was hilarious we laughed quite a bit. My anesthesiologist came over said "Hi I am Ryan ... I am gonna be doing your anesthesia" But I was thinking "omg he is totally handsome and rugged looking ... yay me"
Then he asked me a bunch of questions on how I do with anesthesia .. do i get sick ... hard time waking .. those sort of things. All were yes answers. So he said he would help me the best he could so i could come out of it. My surgery was delayed because my doctor's staff had scheduled patients when he was supposed to be at the hospital . He was really mad at them, and he told me he was sorry he was late that He felt badly that he was not there for me when he promised. (he is a great doctor) Then he wrote on my foot that he would be operating on. (it tickled and he laughed) Then Maggie my surgical nurse came to get me, and wheeled me down the hall- I started crying because of nerves. The surgical halls are VERY cold . The Operating room was freezing ..and there was music " I got the rockin pneumonia and the boogey woogey flu" ... hey he listens to old rock instead of classical.. I think i like this about him. Well besides the fact he is hot .. blonde hair blue eyes. I really am lucky he is a specialist in foot reconstruction. A good doctor .. he explains EVERYTHING so i understand before he does anything. Then I scooted from one table to the next I think I said " ohh here is where I become unladylike" Ryan and my nurse laughed and said "we won't look promise.. as he undid the bows on the back of my patient gown..
He then set up my monitors and had to go underneath my gown near my breast "Sorry sweetie, I know we just met " I laughed and said no biggie, as long as this is part of me getting better it is totally fine. He put an oxygen mask on my face and told me to breathe deep .. and then well the next thing I know I was in recovery and VERY nauseated. They gave me two different drugs for the nausea but it was erally bad.
They then moved me to post op. Where my nurse Tabitha took care of me . She was super nice. I felt really bad because she had to help me with a bed pan twice but that is because they were flushing fluid through me to help me with the nausea... Have I said that Water play is a hard limit for me? Well it is.. I am not into watersports ... lol. I had some dry heaves .. (god I would rather throw up really) but after I felt better I changed into my dress (i brought it because pants would be hard to put over my surgical cast. See above picture. my leg and foot are completely swollen like 20 x the size of my other foot and leg. I have a rash on my thigh and my other leg (not sure what from probably all the medication they have floated through me. They say the swelling will go down once the foot and everything starts healing ... let's hope so I don't want a ginormous left side and a normal right side ffs.
I finally got home around like 8 pm last night i promptly went to bed and slept woke up ate some oyster crackers and had a pain pill. Then fell back asleep for three hours... woke up and nausea was gone. My mom made me some soup. I am pretty much completely incompacitated or however you spell that word.. means I can't care for myself . I have to have someone help me get to the bathroom, help me change .. everything. then someone has to put pillows under my thigh and foot I have to keep it elevated (this is supposed to help with swelling also.
I woke up this morning at 9 crutched to the living room and the recliner, when I got there I fell asleep again until 11. My mom made me a chicken pot pie ... (yum) and i had a couple crackers to help with my pain pill ( i am on a four hour schedule) So mom wakes up so that i can have them on time so I don't go completely into pain. You can never catch up with pain meds if you don't take them right.. you stay in pain. Bleh .. NO THANK YOU.
My next door neighbors brought me a get well card! I thought that was so sweet. Also she rented a redbox movie ... when they are done they bring them to me to watch. I do the same for them. We also switch off our netflixes .. lol.
Waiting for my dinner to get here... and then it will be time for another pain pill .. and I will be asleep again ..
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Today is really bad actually, this pain never stops ... it kind of pulsates and then at moments it extremely sharp and evil.
Yesterday I saw my doctor, the podiatrist / foot surgeon yesterday. I told him that I am feeling a little better in the fact that I am not crying non stop over the pain. That the steroid pack and the pain pills seemed to alleviate it partially, but I still can't walk or do anything. He tried to move my toes but that didn't work .. the tendon is soooo sore from the spur fraying it.
He wanted to give me a shot in my foot to see what my range of motion is.
I looked at him and just told him... " I want this thing OUT" then I paused and said "pleeeaassssee"
He looked at me and told me " I totally support that and we can set it up."
The only problem is it won't be until next week.
Next friday , I will check into the hospital and I will be not only getting the spur out but he is going to do something to help strengthen my ankle.
I would prefer tomorrow.
But, he has had a death in his family and has a funeral to go to.
The only problem is my mom will have to go home before I will be able to care for myself. This is stressful to me. For the last three weeks I have not been able to do anything for myself. I can not get a glass of water. Get in or out of a shower... anything.
I will just keep hoping that it will work out.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
My life pretty much consists of perusing the internet - netflix... and tv... alot of tv...
I have discovered I watch too much TRU-tV which is beginning to dampen my belief in humanity. there are some crazy evil people out there.
So I switched to over to LifeTime ...
yeahhhh now I cry with all the sappy chick flicks.
I did see that there is a new show coming out .. on DIY TV - Vanilla Ice... is a certified contractor and will be doing some awesome home repairs.. and I have it on DVR set for tonite. yay
cheesy or not I Luh-ove him ... totally hottie .
So I thought I would pimp his show ... and play some vanilla ice ice baby
Read more about his show here it even shows a really cool video...
things are better... still just dealing .. so tired of being confined... but life goes on .. same day .. same chair !
Monday, October 11, 2010
I am really tired of bedrest I am about to go bat shit crazy and it isn't even a funny.
I have two places to hang out the bed or the recliner. Walking between the two is excruciating. Walking to the bathroom is excruciating.
I have had friends who say they will come visit but something always comes up and I am feeling really alone. I am angry ... ANGRY at my ex for being such a selfish jerk. I loved him through all of his inconsistencies and jerk ways... and he couldn't return that... wth??? The fact I am doing this with parental help only is really chapping my ass today.
my day consists of internet ... tv... and sleep... and it is awful. I can't just get in my car and drive somewhere. ... this is a miserable experience.
The fact that the pain NEVER stops is infuriating to me right now. It hurts all of the time. it will go from just being a constant ache to sharp jagged pains that leave me sobbing. Taking a shower is a huge feat because I have to climb over the bathtub to shower . My parents put a shower chair in there but gahhh! so over it allready.
I am a shower everyday person or I feel gross. I have been managing a shower every other day with this. Not to mention that everything in my lower body feels like it has been beaten with a bat.
I am trying to stay positive... maybe use this time to finish the book i am writing - but I am beyond the limits today.
Sorry for venting ... but I don't have ANYONE in my life that is available to me..
I can't believe how alone this feels...
and Don Abbott I hate you! I hate you hate you hate you for being a cowardly lying shit.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Right now I have nothing BUT time on my hands.
I will explain... and then explain some more...
On Saturday, I noticed a little ache in my foot.
Nothing major - just an ache. When I walked it was a little sore. I didn't think much about it, went to bed, and figured that I would wake up and it would be better.
Wrong! It was worse.
Here we are trying to move furniture in and out of my house and I am now unable to even assist. Other than to oil the furniture that is moving in .
By Monday , I fully can not walk or stand, that is how painful it has become. I drive myself to the Emergency Room where they take X-rays and tell me .. not broken ... here is some percocet ... rest your foot. Can I say that percocet ... just makes you sleep... and then when you have pain .. you wake up for a brief moment to enjoy the pain ... and then fall back asleep.I woke up this morning and I have had it. I have cussed my foot out several times - advising it to get with the program and stop hurting so I can get on with life... there is stuff to do and work to be done.
However my left foot apparently has a mind of it's own and chooses to not submit to my attempt at commanding some respect out of it.
I called my chiropractor's office and asked if they knew a specialist . My friend Tracie said no , but she would look through the list on my insurance website and she would try to get me an appointment. She called me back and had an appointment for me at 230 *thank God* .
My dad drove me to the appointment and helped me get into the office - i am not so good on crutches... Where I met with the nicest Doctor. He seemed a little puzzled by my symptoms and thought at first I had gout. To be honest , I thought he was just going to give me a shot in my foot and be done with me ...
But he marked my foot where it hurts, then sent me to the torture chamber... I mean xray.
I sobbed through the whole thing ... so painful. I was sat in another room and waited-
where the doctor said these things while looking at my xray...
"Well ... that's not good"
"hey look at that she has an extra bone in her foot" (yay me?)
and "ohhhhh BUMMER no wonder she is in so much pain"
ok two out of the three freaked me out and not the one you would think about me having an extra bone... I am totally cool with being a freak of nature... just sayin...
So doctor comes in sits down and has "the look" the one that says your foot is fucked up.But he is more eloquent than that and says... "look ... you have every right to be in pain right now... don't let anyone tell you that you are being a baby... you have a bone spur on the top of your foot that is rubbing against your tendon and fraying it. Basically it is threatening to sever your tendon . which is why you are having SO much pain." I just sat there with my jaw agape. He continued with " we are going to try to get the swelling and the pain down to a minimum. Your life for the next two weeks consists of ... ice on 30 minutes ... ice off 30 minutes, you need to buy some books, rent some movies and plan to fall asleep from boredome.... alot.
You are on complete bed rest... Keep the foot up immobilized and that is your life - I will decide in two weeks if you are able to have surgery. Which is the only thing that is going to help you"I tried to comprehend all that he was saying but honestly i just heard :blah blah blah... bedrest.... blah blah blah surgery:Granted I have done more crying in three days than i have ever done in my life. These pains will come out of nowhere and just control my whole world. I can't think ... eat ... sleep.. think... anything when they happen. It is almost like having hard labor in my foot.
but he says that sleep is the body's way of healing itself. Which is what they tell you with HCG too right?
I am off HCG until after surgery.
He has put me on steroids to try and shrink the swelling in my foot.
I will keep you posted as to what is going on... let's hope there is no weight gain with the steroid use..
How's your world?