ugh and double ugh

Well... I know i haven't written in a bit.
Truth is I got sick ... really sick
Started with a stomach pain that was .... just plain awful.
Then .... the vomiting started. I have been out of work for a week ... Wednesday I went to the hospital and checked in... to ER ... where they did a bunch of tests .. and used me as their personal pin cushion.
Ouch!
So....
no food ... or anything.
good for weightloss.. not the way i wanted to do it tho.
I started crying when they weighed me. Not because I was sad... But because I was happy.
I had been weighing on my scale which is all good... but here is the thing .. it was my scale... it could be wrong ... ... BUT IT WASNT

38 lbs of weightloss.

thirty eight

3
8

wooo hoooo....
small celebration ... little bit of a happy dance...

and a lot of pain.

Still waiting for solid food.
Have a hospital follow up on Tuesday. I am so ready to go back to work.
and I am so tired of feeling like crap.

But I am soooo happy that the doctor said "I am SO proud of you thirty pounds is quite a feat... 38 pounds.... is awesome... keep it up!"

dinner

cilantro lime chicken

Bed of Romaine Lettuce
I added some fresh squeezed

orange juice to the mix this time

and it was awesome :)

Sunday...

I have been feeling rather emotional . That and with this diet and losing weight I think that my hormones are working better. My face is broken out right now and for someone who never has an acne issue this is out of control. I am making sure to wash the excess oil off of my face in the monring and at night, but I guess just like when I was FOURTEEN it is a work in progress.



I may have to invest in some proactiv. ::SIGH::



Stress levels are still high with call volume at work and sitting near a woman who completely hates me . Funny thing is I don't even know WHY she doesn't care for me. I have always been very nice to her . Yet she rolls her eyes and huffs whenever I talk or if I try to ask her a question pertaining to work , she just turns her head the other way. (she kind of reminds me of my ex mother in law)



Even more stressed with only seeing D every other week ... It feels like a seperation. He is home now but he leaves tomorrow. I hate living here alone. Plus when he has been here he uses my hcg and my needles so I am down to three needles and I still have more than a week left on protocol.



I have been reading My HCG JOURNEY and noticed that there is a link where you can order the hcg from an online pharmacy. I am thinking that this looks like a good idea but would like to discuss with others who have tried this option. I know that others have had issues with receiving BAD hcg.

So I am trying to do the best research possible for this. Any suggestions?

I don't think I have been getting enough water... Funny thing is I used to love soda. But the funny thing is ... I don't really miss it. If I am craving something sweet, then I do have a Zevia. But they are few and far between ... maybe one a week.

My time with D was just awesome this weekend. We ended up not going to the rodeo and just spent time together. It is so strange to be with him. I have been in some really not good relationships. My marriage even though I waited a really long time to be married- ended badly . Most of my relationships have eneded in me wondering what is wrong with me. But here is this man who I met in unusual circumstances, and he really loves me. He makes me laugh so much. We rarely fight, but ... with him gone it is harder and creates tension. I am hoping that we will soon be together again in the same city and state. That would totally be great.

I am ready to get my candle business up and running . I had a web designer working on my website and he quit apparently graduating school begets a job. (yay me) . So now I am trying to design my own website... *oughta be interesting* My expertise is making the candles themselves. Designing the color and the scent. It is a wonderful thing.

Another thing that D encouraged me to do. Is to do something I love . I love candles . I figure ... why spend a fortune and i taught myself how to make candles. He bought all of my supplies and I love that he is that supportive to buy into my dreams.

Other than that I am at about 32 lbs of weight loss. Almost time for my maintenance. I am worried, about not having the hcg to balance everything out . But I believe in my will to want this weight gone.

Today

is Thursday , and I have not felt good today. I have had a headache since 6 am.
I don't see relief coming anytime soon.

I have lost approximately 30 lbs ...

But I still don't feel like I look different.

My pants are feeling differently ... I like that.
But still my head hurts.

My friend Jewel is an actress and she is coming to visit in July. I would like very much to look differently then. Just cuz she is so gorgeous.. and I wanna look that good too.

Work is incredibly stressful right now.
Boyfriend is in PA ... for job interview... he will be in at midnite tomorrow night.

Then he won't be home for two weeks.

This makes it incredibly hard I want to be with him all of the time. right now ... that isn't happening.
I know that he is doing his best to get it to where we are togehter.
But this being apart is harder than anything ...

I am feeling very lonely ... and sad...
and my head still hurts!

Wednesday... ::sigh::

I am so glad it is Wednesday... it just means tomorrow is Thursday / Friday EVE ... which is almost as good as Friday.
Very stressful at work... There is never a break between calls right now and it is frustrating.

But tomorrow... tomorrow is Thursday.

So Don is coming home again friday :) I can't wait.

I think we are going to the Rodeo and other stuff . I would rather just stay in and cuddle and watch movies.

But rodeos are cool too.

He is almost done with his Protocol I have an extra week than him.

He looks great and I feel defeated ... I don't see any difference in how I look. Although other people say they can. His weight loss seems so much more drastic than mine ...
and can these boobs go down any slower?! No seriously biggest motivation is loss of boobage I am so ready to not have back pain any more. If they don't go down with the weight loss. I am SO looking into a reduction .... they are going ... NO MATTER WHAT!

Remind me to invest in bandaids hehehe

Making Grilled Tilapia and baby bok choy YUM.

Will post pictures later.

I am feeling rather tired this week on the protocol . Very sluggish and Can't seem to get everything accomplished that I want to. Perhaps it has to do with the sun burn ... or stress from work... I don't know.

My memory seems to be off a bit. Short term memory ... like I can't be be bothered to retain anything... Very frustrating.

Took Mollie Mae to the vet yesterday and she is going to have minor surgery next week. A dental with possibly an extraction ... :( Oh and she will have all of her shots too.
I may need to make a reminder thingie on my blackberry for the 19th ... i mean with the memory thing and all...

Happy Tuesday!

Well, I am back from Los Angeles.


I had a great time, We went to Anaheim and stayed at the Marriott . One of our personal friends is the Executive Chef there and he is ........................AMAZING!


He was freaking out a little at the dietary restrictions ... but totally helped us out making sure we didn't have things we werent supposed to. ( he said he would not be able to eat just ONE veggie at serving)


The first night he made me a chicken breast and some broccoli and it was DIVINE ... with lemon over the top ... SO good.


Don had fish and broccoli.

The next day we went to Dana Point and laid on the beach ... tried out my new bathing suit. (a size smaller than last year ::yay::)


We had lunch at MiMi's I had a salad with roasted chicken for lunch


he had ... fish again.. (I am over fish right now so I did not participate.

We then toured a pasta factory that we are looking at purchasing... yeah I know weird right? someone with food issues possibly owning a pasta factory...


We are looking at the numbers before we decide what we are going to do.

That evening we went back to the marriott and had dinner we split a filet mignon - (Hany our chef friend said he could eat 8 of them..) I say easy to say if you are tall and thin....

Even heavy I can't eat that much. We had asparagus as our veggie. I think I went into a nirvana state... Delicious!!!

I really want to be more creative cooking. I know that I have it in me to be a good cook... The things that I make taste good ... but my presentation sucks.

I have been trying to figure out how to make healthier versions of foods I love... that I miss that I am craving....


One of those is Pei Wei's Spicy Chicken salad .... I know I can't have the chicken part but the salad part is do-able I found this recipe for the dressing on line...


Ingredients for Cilantro Lime Dressing.


1 cup packed cilantro
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup lime juice
1/4 cup orange juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
Pinch of minced garlic


Here is how I made it (reminder I made extra for my next meals )












1 cup of Lime juice
2 packets of Stevia
1 tsp of olive oil (on protocol you can have one a day)
I used a pinch of salt
pinch of pepper
Cilantro paste
garlic (pre peeled because I am lazy)
mixed in the food processor .....


I served over lettuce and had a few slices of cucumber


I served with steak but I am thinking I may want to use dressing as a marinade make chicken and have an awesome chicken salad.... I have to say my version wasn't as fattening as Pei Wei ... but it was good and flavorful .... I can't wait to have salad again!

I am truly enjoying Iced Water with lemon ... it is refreshing and yummy.

But... sometimes I still crave a soda now and again....

I found these ... Zevia sweetened with Stevia...
like the sweetner Truvia you can have a max of 2 a day.
I use them to curb a sweet tooth.

Now granted... I am only drinking the orange one ... so if anyone tries any of the other ones let me know how they taste.

I am enjoying cooking on the foreman grill it is easy to clean.

I finally took over baking the cookies for Officer Roger or Batman as is his call sign.
I made chocolate chip... peanut butter with reeses pieces and peanut butter with peanut butter chips...

I am finding super sweet smells make me want to rowlf. or vomit... sell a buick ... toss my cookies... or whatever you want to call it.

So ... hope all is well in your world....

Woot Woot :D

30 pounds of butter- 30 pounds of weight loss ...

Stressed

It has been a hard few days .

I am struggling with my guy being out of town and away from me. He has told me he has a job interview in another town which would mean a permanent move for the both of us.

I say I will see what happens.

We are going to LA this weekend . I am apprehensive about food plans when we are there. I am used to prepping my meals . Also want to make sure that we take a cooler for the hcg.

I picked up my new supply and Larry says that I am doing well. This week I feel really blah. I am not getting enough sleep and I know this.

it is affecting my time on the scale.

this morning I got up and gave myself my injection and OMG it hurt BAD ... I have a bruise on my thigh and I have NO idea what I did differently.

I have to make chocolate chip cookies for this officer that helped me with something tomorrow. I am dreading the cookie smell. I am hoping it will be nauseating rather than tempting.

I prepped my next 5 meals . I made some steak and I made some citrus chicken . For the chicken I made a mixture of lemon and lime juice , adobo seasoning, a little garlic and salt thyme. And it ws de-lish-us... or delicious.

Found a soda named Zevia made with Stevia. It curbs the want for real soda... and it also curbs the sweet tooth.

my question of the week is does distance make the heart grow fonder or ... does it make it wander...

oh well until tomorrow