I know the last few posts have been downers...
this one prolly won't be much better because I am venting.
I talked to Mr. Abbott yesterday... not a good conversation .. he came to the house while I was gone yesterday ... got a change of clothes and left.
I am feeling seriously hurt by him right now... and it only got worse.
He told me that loving me is like parachuting from a plane and being rammed in the ass by the stratosphere needle sometimes. If he was looking for a desired effect of me crying.. he got it.
Itexted him back and told him to stay gone. That obviously his friend is his priority. Me and Mollie are JUST fine. We were fine before and we will continue to be fine.
Honestly , I hate when he is mean with words. I know his intention was to be funny ... but honestly I feel cold. It took EVERYTHING I had not to pack the rest of his belongings and leave them on the lawn for him to pick up. I would rather be hit ... punched in the mouth than talked to that way.
I am tired of consistently making people in my life a priority when I am only an option to them.
SCREW THAT!
I am in it for me now! Selfless equals suffering on my end. I am putting myself first and foremost. Which is completely different from how I have always been.
I am over trying to be something to someone that I can't be. So I am going to be the person that I was made to be.
If this relationship continues... which at this point it will take a dramatic change on his part to do so. Then he will find out that he is a domesticated partner not a king in a castle .
My weightloss journey just got kicked in the hiney and we are full steam ahead.
Look out world ... .the new Sharr is on her way!
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That a girl! Honestly it seems to me (and I could be DEAD wrong) that he's checked out of the relationship completely and just hangs around because you let him. I'd tell him I wasn't his doormat or fallback plan anymore. But that is just me. If he truly is worth it to you then by all means, work at it. If he's what you're settling for because you want him to be what he is trying to be (and obviously failing at) then there seriously needs to be some re-evaluations. I can't tell you what you should do here, the heart wants what it wants...but ask yourself the hard questions.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't feel bad about having posts that aren't sunshine and rainbows pouring out of your butt. You're allowed to have human emotions, and even more allowed to discuss them on your blog. You can have a blog just for you...is it possible that you can have a life just for you too?
Remember that hand you extended to me? It works both ways honey.
Huge hugs, and a swift kick in the butt.
Trisha
Ohhh, and if he thinks a stratosphere needle up the butt is painful, wait til he finds out what your foot up his backside feels like. :)
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