small victories

So stoked ...

I went to my appointment to pick up my hcg and get my instructions for protocol. It was very interested. I confess that I had to scowl a little bit because when she came to the door she was tiny.
I was thinking how can this woman really get what I am here for.... SERIOUSLY!

So... she showed me pictures of her and her husband pre hcg...

He had lost over 100 lbs and she lost 40 ... WOW ... they look amazing...

::hopeful thinking:: I want to look amazing too.

So she walks me through food plans ... through rules that sort of thing.

and then what?
She teaches me how to give myself a shot.

Did I mention I have a fear of needles and I had a mini break down trying to brave up for the stinking b12 shot that she was teaching me with; since i don't actually start my shots and load days until tomorrow.

I started shaking i was going to try giving a shot in my thigh, but ... alas standing up i have freaking t-rex arms so ... that wasn't working standing up. SO ... I decided to do the b12 in my stomach... I finally just did it...

It didn't hurt .. but I was shaking so hard , that I bruised myself pinching up my skin.

Stressing out . My guy is in San Francisco for the last couple of days and we are supposed to be moving , he started with oh I am going up for a couple weeks and then I will bring you up. Now two weeks have moved to 4-6 weeks , and possibly even a few months.

What?!

We have been together 2 years and now... I am just not sure if he is moving on without me. That is a situation that I am used to. I have never ever left a relationship, I have always been the one that is left.
So do I grab the tape and start tryingto mend a heart before it breaks? Can you even do that?

I texted him today because I was so excited - I found a job in my company that would allow for a transfer to San Francisco. But i totally feel as though he was giving me push back.

I confronted him, and he states that it is mostly because he has never lived with anyone or moved with anyone. He is committed to doing that with me.

So I sit back and say ok.
I will just wait.

Stoked about tomorrow.. we will see how it goes. :)